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jedibuttercupT; B:tVS/MCU (Pre-Ragnarok); Buffy & Hulk; 1500 words. Post-S5 AU. For ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
twistedshorts.
It took Buffy an embarrassingly long time to realize that she hadn't actually fallen into a hell dimension.
Title: The Hardest Thing in This World
Author: Jedi Buttercup
Disclaimer: The words are mine; the worlds are not.
Rating: T/PG-13
Spoilers: AU post "The Gift" for Buffy; Pre-Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
Notes: Here, another fairly cracky premise that occurred to me at one in the morning. :) Yet another AU post-"The Gift".
It took Buffy an embarrassingly long time to realize that she hadn't actually fallen into a hell dimension. 1500 words.
It took Buffy an embarrassingly long time to realize that she hadn't actually fallen into a hell dimension. Not even the gritty factory kind, like the one that had been stealing kids off the streets of Los Angeles until she'd shut it down. In her defense, the rip in the fabric of reality had been supposed to lead to Glory's home; and the giant glowy thing in the sky over the trash-heap she'd landed on had looked awfully tear-in-space-like to her.
Between the general air of misery, though, the cannibals that went after her among the trash, the Scrapper who dragged her away in chains instead of helping her go after what she'd thought were scavenger demons, and the whole gladiator 'harlequinade' she'd been sentenced to? Yeah, what wasn't hell-dimension-ish about that? Kind of weird to find a smirky older guy with a blue-paint goatee in charge of it rather than someone who looked or sounded more like Glorificus, but the ego was more than in line with what she expected from a demon god-type. She took down every weird non-human fighter he threw her way and half-heartedly looked for a way out in her down time, but given everything they'd learned about the Key, had never really expected to find one.
But then a giant green guy followed Scrapper 142 in from the trash heaps, and suddenly Buffy found herself face to face-- or, well, torso-- with someone else speaking English. Even if it was only a few words. The translator implant thing they'd given her shortly after arrival worked great, but you could always tell when their original language wasn't exactly what you were hearing. Maybe if you let it fool you, or maybe if you weren't the Slayer, you could imagine the way someone's lips were moving matched the words you understood. But even without the disorienting bad dubbing effect, listening to a lot of the place's residents cursing quickly became an entertaining education for Buffy in cultural reference fails. As much as anything could be entertaining in Sakaar.
Or-- on Sakaar, because apparently, according to Scrapper 142, the giant green guy had arrived in a spaceship. Something weird must have happened for Earth's demons to have access to space travel... but then again, time apparently ran differently on Sakaar, so who knew, maybe all humans back home had evolved by now. Or maybe it was a parallel dimension Earth where people like that just existed openly? But whichever it was.... Buffy abruptly remembered the Queller demon, and then felt as dizzy and disoriented as the Glory-victims it had been summoned to wipe out.
All those 'demons' she'd killed. Were they actually just...?
She swallowed thickly, reminded herself that they'd all been trying very hard to kill her back and that the Grandmaster probably wouldn't have let them live afterward regardless, and stepped into the arena to face the new contender with a sharp new awareness of exactly how far she was from home.
"Hey, big guy," she said, hefting the big halberd they usually gave her to emphasize how small their champion was compared to exactly how much ass she could kick. "Are you from Earth, too? I don't suppose you'd know if it was my Earth, but maybe we could chat?"
Big black eyebrows drew together, and he lifted the massive flanged mace clutched in his enormous emerald fist. "No. Earth hate Hulk," he said derisively.
Was that because he wasn't normal there, and it might still be her Earth, or because he had done something worthy of hate? Was Hulk his name, or his species, or what? Buffy began a wide stalk through the arena, trying to keep some space between them to get some idea of how he moved before clashing with him.
"Earth wasn't too fond of the Slayer, either," she replied as she moved. "Only the pretty girl part of her, not the part that went out every night to fight and came back home covered in dust and demon guts. Too threatening. I had friends, though. Did you have friends?"
His expression shifted: wistful, then pained, then angry. Friends yes, then. Criminal, probably not. Betrayed, though, very likely. He yelled back, "No Team! Only Hulk!" and began to charge across the arena.
Singular Hulk then, probably. Okay; fight it was.
The first clash between their weapons nearly numbed Buffy's arms and made her wonder if he was related to Anya's troll god, he of the enchanted hammer she'd used against Glory. The blow flung her back into the arena wall with a breath-stealing thud and drew excited exclamations from the crowd. Buffy threw a quick glance toward the Grandmaster and saw him sitting on the edge of his chair, eyes fixed avidly on Hulk; it made her really glad he'd removed the sparky shock disc on her throat after a few years in a big feigned show of 'freeing' her, or he might just throw the fight in favor of the new guy. Novelty, and all that; plus Hulk looked the part, something En Dwi Gast had always griped about when it came to her. If she was lucky, she'd live to switch careers to Scrapper; but if not....
Buffy set her mouth grimly, and resolved to fight this one to a standstill. Maybe the Grandmaster would go for a joint show. But she didn't want to kill anymore, now that she knew. Or die, of course. Not if she could help it.
The thought sent a jolt through her; it hadn't really registered until that moment that she wasn't dead. Buffy Summers was alive.
She tightened her grip on the haft of her halberd, and flew back into the fight.
Hulk didn't block her next blow as thoroughly, and hit the ground hard before rolling back to his feet, abandoning the mace to strike at her with his fists. He was fast, but she was the Slayer; she was armored, he wasn't. She aimed carefully with the blade of the halberd, trying for a messy-looking but not life-threatening cut-- and gaped at the tiny, barely there scratch left behind on his tough skin. Well, at least that made one thing easier!
Buffy ramped up her strength and speed as she continued, going all out against Hulk in a way she almost never got the chance to. But the toughness of his skin had made her wonder about something-- and sure enough, as she danced around him, dropping the halberd to pick up his abandoned mace to the roars of the appreciative crowd, she saw absolutely zero sign of any control disc stuck to his body.
Because he'd volunteered. A sharp smile tugged at the corner of her mouth as she struck a blow with the mace, dragging a roar from his mouth, then launched across the area again as she caught a backhand. "Hey Hulk," she said as she flipped in the air, landing on her feet. "If you're really Team No One, why are you listening to the Grandmaster's orders? Why fight me at all? Because he says so? What gives him the right?"
That caught the big green guy's attention; he let her delay the fight again with another circling stalk as he picked up her halberd. "Slayer hit Hulk," he pointed out. "Hulk smash!"
"No, Slayer spar with Hulk," she said, still grinning. "Like play. For fun. Smashing's for bad guys, and you're not a bad guy."
"Hulk the baddest," he insisted, scowling.
The murmurs in the crowd were growing louder; Buffy tuned them out and kept going. "Badass-est, I'll give you that. But if you mean evil-bad, I've definitely fought worse than you. Trust me, you're not that kind of bad."
He took a minute to parse that through, making a couple of half-hearted swipes and jabs in her direction. "Not afraid of Hulk."
"Why would I be?" she shrugged, parrying the testing blows.
The Grandmaster yelled something down at her; she ignored him pointedly, and grinned as he followed up with a couple of his guards, sending them down toward the arena floor.
"Those guys are gonna try to stop us," Buffy said, pointing in their direction. "Get a disc on me again, or kill you, or me, or both. But you came in a ship, right? If we can get there-- we can go anywhere. Doesn't have to be Earth. Do whatever you want." As long as she could get back home eventually-- at least it would be anywhere but here!
"Anywhere?" he demanded, lowering his weapon entirely. "Spar more with new friend?"
"Definitely spar with new friend," she nodded eagerly. "You wanna?"
Hulk stared at her, something lonely and longing in that craggy expression, then turned to the guards as they finally hit the arena floor. He lifted the halberd again and charged with a roar. "Hulk and Slayer free!"
"That's the spirit, big guy," Buffy said, hope filling her for the first time in subjective eons, and charged right behind him.
(x-posted on twistedshorts and on AO3)
twistedshorts.It took Buffy an embarrassingly long time to realize that she hadn't actually fallen into a hell dimension.
Title: The Hardest Thing in This World
Author: Jedi Buttercup
Disclaimer: The words are mine; the worlds are not.
Rating: T/PG-13
Spoilers: AU post "The Gift" for Buffy; Pre-Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
Notes: Here, another fairly cracky premise that occurred to me at one in the morning. :) Yet another AU post-"The Gift".
It took Buffy an embarrassingly long time to realize that she hadn't actually fallen into a hell dimension. 1500 words.
It took Buffy an embarrassingly long time to realize that she hadn't actually fallen into a hell dimension. Not even the gritty factory kind, like the one that had been stealing kids off the streets of Los Angeles until she'd shut it down. In her defense, the rip in the fabric of reality had been supposed to lead to Glory's home; and the giant glowy thing in the sky over the trash-heap she'd landed on had looked awfully tear-in-space-like to her.
Between the general air of misery, though, the cannibals that went after her among the trash, the Scrapper who dragged her away in chains instead of helping her go after what she'd thought were scavenger demons, and the whole gladiator 'harlequinade' she'd been sentenced to? Yeah, what wasn't hell-dimension-ish about that? Kind of weird to find a smirky older guy with a blue-paint goatee in charge of it rather than someone who looked or sounded more like Glorificus, but the ego was more than in line with what she expected from a demon god-type. She took down every weird non-human fighter he threw her way and half-heartedly looked for a way out in her down time, but given everything they'd learned about the Key, had never really expected to find one.
But then a giant green guy followed Scrapper 142 in from the trash heaps, and suddenly Buffy found herself face to face-- or, well, torso-- with someone else speaking English. Even if it was only a few words. The translator implant thing they'd given her shortly after arrival worked great, but you could always tell when their original language wasn't exactly what you were hearing. Maybe if you let it fool you, or maybe if you weren't the Slayer, you could imagine the way someone's lips were moving matched the words you understood. But even without the disorienting bad dubbing effect, listening to a lot of the place's residents cursing quickly became an entertaining education for Buffy in cultural reference fails. As much as anything could be entertaining in Sakaar.
Or-- on Sakaar, because apparently, according to Scrapper 142, the giant green guy had arrived in a spaceship. Something weird must have happened for Earth's demons to have access to space travel... but then again, time apparently ran differently on Sakaar, so who knew, maybe all humans back home had evolved by now. Or maybe it was a parallel dimension Earth where people like that just existed openly? But whichever it was.... Buffy abruptly remembered the Queller demon, and then felt as dizzy and disoriented as the Glory-victims it had been summoned to wipe out.
All those 'demons' she'd killed. Were they actually just...?
She swallowed thickly, reminded herself that they'd all been trying very hard to kill her back and that the Grandmaster probably wouldn't have let them live afterward regardless, and stepped into the arena to face the new contender with a sharp new awareness of exactly how far she was from home.
"Hey, big guy," she said, hefting the big halberd they usually gave her to emphasize how small their champion was compared to exactly how much ass she could kick. "Are you from Earth, too? I don't suppose you'd know if it was my Earth, but maybe we could chat?"
Big black eyebrows drew together, and he lifted the massive flanged mace clutched in his enormous emerald fist. "No. Earth hate Hulk," he said derisively.
Was that because he wasn't normal there, and it might still be her Earth, or because he had done something worthy of hate? Was Hulk his name, or his species, or what? Buffy began a wide stalk through the arena, trying to keep some space between them to get some idea of how he moved before clashing with him.
"Earth wasn't too fond of the Slayer, either," she replied as she moved. "Only the pretty girl part of her, not the part that went out every night to fight and came back home covered in dust and demon guts. Too threatening. I had friends, though. Did you have friends?"
His expression shifted: wistful, then pained, then angry. Friends yes, then. Criminal, probably not. Betrayed, though, very likely. He yelled back, "No Team! Only Hulk!" and began to charge across the arena.
Singular Hulk then, probably. Okay; fight it was.
The first clash between their weapons nearly numbed Buffy's arms and made her wonder if he was related to Anya's troll god, he of the enchanted hammer she'd used against Glory. The blow flung her back into the arena wall with a breath-stealing thud and drew excited exclamations from the crowd. Buffy threw a quick glance toward the Grandmaster and saw him sitting on the edge of his chair, eyes fixed avidly on Hulk; it made her really glad he'd removed the sparky shock disc on her throat after a few years in a big feigned show of 'freeing' her, or he might just throw the fight in favor of the new guy. Novelty, and all that; plus Hulk looked the part, something En Dwi Gast had always griped about when it came to her. If she was lucky, she'd live to switch careers to Scrapper; but if not....
Buffy set her mouth grimly, and resolved to fight this one to a standstill. Maybe the Grandmaster would go for a joint show. But she didn't want to kill anymore, now that she knew. Or die, of course. Not if she could help it.
The thought sent a jolt through her; it hadn't really registered until that moment that she wasn't dead. Buffy Summers was alive.
She tightened her grip on the haft of her halberd, and flew back into the fight.
Hulk didn't block her next blow as thoroughly, and hit the ground hard before rolling back to his feet, abandoning the mace to strike at her with his fists. He was fast, but she was the Slayer; she was armored, he wasn't. She aimed carefully with the blade of the halberd, trying for a messy-looking but not life-threatening cut-- and gaped at the tiny, barely there scratch left behind on his tough skin. Well, at least that made one thing easier!
Buffy ramped up her strength and speed as she continued, going all out against Hulk in a way she almost never got the chance to. But the toughness of his skin had made her wonder about something-- and sure enough, as she danced around him, dropping the halberd to pick up his abandoned mace to the roars of the appreciative crowd, she saw absolutely zero sign of any control disc stuck to his body.
Because he'd volunteered. A sharp smile tugged at the corner of her mouth as she struck a blow with the mace, dragging a roar from his mouth, then launched across the area again as she caught a backhand. "Hey Hulk," she said as she flipped in the air, landing on her feet. "If you're really Team No One, why are you listening to the Grandmaster's orders? Why fight me at all? Because he says so? What gives him the right?"
That caught the big green guy's attention; he let her delay the fight again with another circling stalk as he picked up her halberd. "Slayer hit Hulk," he pointed out. "Hulk smash!"
"No, Slayer spar with Hulk," she said, still grinning. "Like play. For fun. Smashing's for bad guys, and you're not a bad guy."
"Hulk the baddest," he insisted, scowling.
The murmurs in the crowd were growing louder; Buffy tuned them out and kept going. "Badass-est, I'll give you that. But if you mean evil-bad, I've definitely fought worse than you. Trust me, you're not that kind of bad."
He took a minute to parse that through, making a couple of half-hearted swipes and jabs in her direction. "Not afraid of Hulk."
"Why would I be?" she shrugged, parrying the testing blows.
The Grandmaster yelled something down at her; she ignored him pointedly, and grinned as he followed up with a couple of his guards, sending them down toward the arena floor.
"Those guys are gonna try to stop us," Buffy said, pointing in their direction. "Get a disc on me again, or kill you, or me, or both. But you came in a ship, right? If we can get there-- we can go anywhere. Doesn't have to be Earth. Do whatever you want." As long as she could get back home eventually-- at least it would be anywhere but here!
"Anywhere?" he demanded, lowering his weapon entirely. "Spar more with new friend?"
"Definitely spar with new friend," she nodded eagerly. "You wanna?"
Hulk stared at her, something lonely and longing in that craggy expression, then turned to the guards as they finally hit the arena floor. He lifted the halberd again and charged with a roar. "Hulk and Slayer free!"
"That's the spirit, big guy," Buffy said, hope filling her for the first time in subjective eons, and charged right behind him.
(x-posted on twistedshorts and on AO3)
